Sir Alex Ferguson: Manchester United can recover to win the league

Former Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson says the team can overturn a poor start to win the Premier League, despite being eight points adrift of leaders Arsenal.

Er. no they can’t, for two very obvious reasons, firstly they have a manager who has no experience of managing club where you’re expected to win the big trophies every year, no offence Everton,  and secondly they don’t have enough top quality players or the depth of squad to compete with Chelsea and Man City.

I would agree with Sir Alex that United could still win the title, but only if he was still in charge, with Moyes no not a chance.

I thought United made a huge mistake appointing him, although as an Arsenal fan I was quite happy with it because they instantly put themselves out of the running for the Premier League title and Champions League. 

Moyes may well take United to the FA or League Cup final, but that’s about it and after so many years of domination it looks like United will have to be content with being just another team, in fact given how poorly they’re playing and how they’ve struggled to beat the likes of Stoke and Sunderland they might not even finish in the top four.

I must say seeing United struggle is giving me almost as much pleasure as seeing my team at the top of the table.  

Energy chiefs to come under fire from MPs on prices

Top executives from the UK's six largest energy companies are expected to face serious criticism when they come before a group of MPs.

The bosses have been called in front of the Energy and Climate Change Committee, following recent price rises.

So far, four companies have announced increases that average 9.1%.

What a waste of time this is, all these MPs will do is have a go at the bosses and do a bit of political grandstanding before letting the bosses go back to their jobs of ripping off the public.

Instead of just having a go at the energy companies and saying what you’re doing is really wrong, after they’ve already done it, maybe they could, next year because they’ve missed the boat this year, have a similar sort of situation where the energy bosses should come before a group of MPs in the summer and they should be told in no uncertain terms that you can’t raise your prices by more than a set amount, because the amount they are currently raising their prices by has reached farcical levels.

Of course I could be wrong and after this grilling the energy bosses might discover some early Christmas spirit and suddenly abandon their ridiculous rises, and if they do I apologise to all in advance, but let’s be honest there’s more chance of pigs flying or England winning the World Cup next year.

Apparently the rises are because wholesale prices are increasing, but the chief executive of Ofgem is expected to tell MPs that wholesale prices have risen by less than the rate of inflation, 1.7% over the last year.

So not only are the big energy bosses money hungry narcissists, they’re also massive liars without consciences, and yet apart from being yelled at for a few hours by MPs they’ll be allowed to carry on as normal. 

HS2 needs broad political consensus, says transport secretary

The high-speed rail link HS2 needs broad political consensus or it will end in nothing, says Transport Secretary Patrick McLoughlin.

In a speech, Mr McLoughlin will accuse Labour of "playing politics with our prosperity" over the project.

On Tuesday the government will also publish a report justifying the £42.6bn cost of the project.

So judging by what Labour are saying about HS2 it looks unlikely a broad political consensus will be achieved and HS2 will end in nothing, sounds good to me.

Labour aren’t playing politics, well maybe a bit, but their objections to HS2, like most of the people in this country, are that it will cost too much and it won’t make this huge difference we are constantly being told by the government that it will.

The one stat that really gets me is that the money available for work on HS2 continues to rise and yet work hasn’t even started yet, first it was around £30bn, then it was £40bn and some even think it might go as high as 80 it's ridiculous. 

All the research and number crunching on the data analysing the pros and cons of HS2 done by independents shows that HS2 simply won’t be worth it, a few weeks ago a report came out that said over 50 places in the UK would actually be worse off if it went ahead.

When it was first announced most people didn’t want it, add in the fact that it will cost much more than what was initially expected, the benefits won’t be as big as first promised and many areas will suffer as a result, and I think you’ve got a convincing and conclusive argument that HS2 shouldn’t happen.

Michel Platini wants 40-country World Cup

The Frenchman has responded to FIFA president Sepp Blatter's recent comments, agreeing that more African and Asian teams should play in the competition.

UEFA president Michel Platini has suggested that the World Cup should be expanded to 40 teams to include more Asian and African representatives, starting from 2018 in Russia.

There has to be something in the water in Switzerland, I mean there just has to be that’s the only thing I can think of that explains the continued odd behaviour and bizarre suggestions that constantly flow out of FIFA and UEFA, with this being the latest one.

If Platini and Blatter want more Asian and African teams in the World Cup then instead of meddling with the format and adding more teams, the obvious thing to do would be to change the number of spots available to European teams as it currently stands at 13, the next highest if the five allocated to African teams.

It would be easier to change it so that European teams get 10 places and the other three are distributed so that more Asian and African teams can take part, by doing that you could make sure that nations like San Marino, Malta, Faroe Islands Andorra, Luxembourg etc. have to prove they are good enough to be in the qualification process, because they continually get thrashed and end up on one or two points, and bring nothing to the table other than to boost the goal ratios of the strikers of the teams who actually have a chance at qualifying.

The current format of the World Cup is fine it works it doesn’t need to be changed because you can have more Asian and African teams by making a change to the qualification process, but that probably won’t happen because of the tap water in Switzerland. 

Mitchell deserves ‘plebgate’ apology, says Acpo chief

The head of the Association of Chief Police Officers has said three officers accused of giving a misleading account of a meeting with ex-cabinet minister Andrew Mitchell should apologise.

Sir Hugh Orde said their conduct had fallen "below that required".

I remember at the time this story broke over a year ago thinking all Mitchell did was lose his temper, and yet he was forced into resigning before there was a full investigation into what actually happened.

Now it turns out the officers Mitchell had a go at made up what he said and everybody jumped on the bandwagon, massively over-reacted and got Mitchell the sack.

This whole affair is a bit of a farce, and if there is a lesson to be learned from it’s that it would be a good idea to wait until all the details are available, instead of jumping on the first piece of evidence/information assuming it’s accurate and demanding action be taken as a result. Look what that achieved.

As all the facts are now available it seems it’s the police officers who are the ones who should be sacked.  

Sir John Major calls for windfall tax on energy profits

Former Prime Minister Sir John Major has called for an emergency tax on the profits of the UK’s top energy firms.

The ex-Conservative leader said recent price rises of more than 10% were "unacceptable" and action was needed.

The government could claw back the cost of extra winter fuel payments through a one-off tax, he suggested.

This is interesting because Major rarely says anything in public these days, and it’s interesting that his plan falls slap bang in the middle between the current policies of the government and Labour.  

Labour would freeze energy prices, where as the government seem content to do nothing let the energy companies do as they please.

Of course for this measure to work it would have to state that energy companies couldn’t simply slap on a few extra percent rise in their prices to compensate for having to pay a windfall tax.

But still it’s better than nothing, because with the price rises they're announcing the big six energy firms clearly think they are untouchable.   

Sepp Blatter hints at increased FIFA term

FIFA president Sepp Blatter has given his strongest hint yet that he plans to stay on in the role past 2015.

The 77-year-old Swiss has been head of the world governing body since 1998 and says he will back plans to increase the term from four years to eight.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

I knew it was too good to be true football was just over 18 months away from ridding itself of Blatters disease, but now it looks like we might be stuck with him, if he gets his way, which he will because he’ll fix it to make sure, as FIFA president until 2023.

It’s almost like there is nothing that Blatter can do that will create a situation where he wouldn’t win the next FIFA election and looking at the evidence he’s tried everything, he said that if a player is racially abused it should be settled with a handshake, he took way too long to introduce goal-line technology, he rigged the 2011 FIFA election and he awarded the 2022 World Cup to Qatar, the list goes on.

Despite Blatters best efforts football remains the world’s most popular sport, only, given what he’s already done so far, I don’t know how much longer football can survive with this clown at the helm.  

Facebook allows beheading clips to return

Facebook is allowing videos showing people being decapitated to be posted and shared on its site once again.

The social network had introduced a temporary ban in May following complaints that the clips could cause long-term psychological damage.

What an incredibly dumb idea from an incredibly smart group of people, smart because they’ve managed to make a fortune out of essentially email with pictures and videos.

Why would any normal person want the option of watching someone being decapitated, not to mention then sending it to a friend saying you have to watch this?

I was contemplating whether this was a pr stunt and then I read the reasoning behind the decision which says that they’ve done it so that people can watch and condemn decapitation videos, which confirmed to me that this is the pr department at work because the reasons they give are bullshit.

You don’t need to actually watch someone getting their head chopped off to know its bad, in the same way that you don’t need to watch a video of someone being sexually assaulted to know it’s bad.

This just adds another reason to the list why, if you have one, you should delete your Facebook account and get on with your life.  

Npower to raise energy prices by 10.4%

Energy firm Npower has become the third major supplier to announce price rises, with a dual-fuel bill to go up 10.4%.

The price rise will take effect on 1 December, and is the highest increase announced by any supplier so far.

SSE will increase prices by 8.2% from 15 November and British Gas said prices would go up by 9.2% on 23 November.

Well it’s happening again, I said when SSE raised their prices by a ridiculous amount the other energy giants would follow suit, and guess what they have not only followed suit but seem to be in direct competition with each other for who can rip-off and piss-off their customers the most.

With this announcement Npower have leapt into the lead, overtaking both British Gas and SSE, but if you announce first then you’re handing the advantage to your competitors to come in and outdo you, maybe they’ll learn their lesson for the 2014 fuel bill con-athon.

Now Npower have set the benchmark becoming the first to announce a double digit increase, they’ve really challenged the remaining three, EDF, EON and Scottish Power, who have yet to hike their prices, but who we all know will.

I for one can’t wait to see whether any of them can dig deep enough to topple the 10.4% rise by Npower, that will be tough to beat but I think one of them might do it.

And all the while the industry regulator, Ofgem, or to give it its proper name do f**k all gem, is standing idly by and just letting this happen.   

Tesco says almost 30,000 tonnes of food ‘wasted’

Supermarket giant Tesco has revealed it threw away almost 30,000 tonnes of food in the first six months of the year.

Using its own data and industry-wide figures, it has also estimated that, across the UK food industry, 68% of salad to be sold in bags was wasted - 35% of it thrown out by customers.

And it estimated that 40% of apples and 47% of bakery items were wasted.

Wow what a waste, and this is just what one supermarket threw away in six months so I dread to think how much will be wasted by all the supermarkets in 2013.

What makes this worse is that there are plenty of things that can be done to reduce and begin to eradicate this problem that up until now have clearly been ignored, like for instance once the food they, Tesco and the other big supermarkets, sell has reached its best before date, instead of throwing it away they could give it to a food bank.

They could also offer smaller amounts of certain items, with some there’s the option of buying 10+ or none at all.

Of course it’s not just the supermarkets it’s also people who shop there and throw stuff out despite it still being fine.

Tesco has announced it will be looking at ways to reduce the waste so finally something is now starting to be done, belatedly as usual, but nonetheless something will start to be done.

Until next year when the exact same story will most probably surface again.   

Magistrates debate end to Bible oaths in court

Magistrates are to debate whether do away with the swearing of oaths on the Bible and other holy books in courts in England and Wales.

Instead there would be a statement in which people would promise “very sincerely” to tell the truth.

I’m glad that this is to be debated as it amazes me in 2013 that people who go to court and give evidence still have to swear to Almighty God, it’s ridiculous.

I highly doubt swearing an oath to a fictional deity will compel you be more honest in the evidence that you give.   

While they’re at it maybe magistrates could also put an end to having to wear those stupid wigs in court as well.

Facebook in child safety backlash

Facebook is facing a backlash from campaigners after announcing it will allow millions of teenagers to open up their profiles to strangers.

The social networking site announced that users aged from 13 to 17 will now be able to switch their settings to share posts with anyone on the internet, rather than just their "friends" or "friends of friends".

Children's groups and internet safety experts denounced the move, saying it could leave young people more vulnerable to cyber-bullying.

I’m never one to miss the chance to have a pop at Facebook, but here I don’t feel I need to say that much as they’ve bought the gun, loaded it, pointed it directly at their foot and pulled the trigger.

This is such a stupid idea, and adds to the ever growing list of reasons why Facebook, in fact all social networking, should cease to exist and humans can return to interacting like all other animals by actually meeting each other in the flesh instead of sitting at home alone tapping away at a keyboard convincing themselves they’re popular or important because they have 300+ ‘friends’, even though in reality less than 10% of those ‘friends’ are people they’ve actually met and know. 

Roy Hodgson angry over team-talk furore

Roy Hodgson says he and his players are angry that England's World Cup qualification has been overshadowed by the furore surrounding comments he made during Tuesday's game against Poland.

Hodgson was criticised for referring to a joke about a monkey and an astronaut at half-time in the 2-0 win, which secured England's 2014 World Cup place.

I think I should make it official this is the biggest over-reaction and attempt to make something out of nothing with a story involving the England football team, granted there are many worthy candidates but I nominate this one for the top honour.

I’ve criticised Hodgson on a few of his selections and the way he’s set the team up, but to try and engineer it so that Hodgson made a racist comment and turn it into a moral dilemma is absurd.

I admit I was a little surprised to hear that Hodgson tells jokes during half-time team talks, and while the joke he told about an astronaut and a monkey on a NASA mission is long winded and unfunny, that’s it that’s where it ends he told a bad joke, that’s it there is no more to be made out of it.

While I want to see racism kicked out of football as much as the next person, but I think there’s a danger of becoming overly sensitive to it and that any comment can be taken and twisted to make the argument that whoever made that comment is a racist.

One important thing to remember from all this is that none, I repeat, none of the black players in the dressing room took any offence, and that’s where it should have ended.

However, it is quite concerning that Hodgson and the FA are trying to promote this idea that the England squad is close knit and really together, much more so than in previous years, and yet this story was leaked and blown out of all proportion, so the England camp is obviously not as close as we’ve been led to believe.

If anything that’s the real story here, the fact that there is someone in the England set-up who leaked this and tried to discredit the manager when all he’d done was tell a bad joke.     

Ofwat plans to block Thames Water’s price rise

Ofwat, the water regulator, says it plans to block Thames Water's request to increase customer bills by up to 8% next year.

The regulator has published a draft decision blocking Thames Water's request for the interim increase.

Thames had asked to add an extra £29 to the annual average household bill.

Well done Ofwat for intervening and proposing to block a ridiculous price hike by Thames Water, the only question this has thrown up is why aren’t Ofgem doing exactly the same with the energy companies.

Why haven’t Ofgem contacted the big six energy suppliers and told them if you attempt to raise your prices by 6%, 7%, 8% we’ll stop you, because it’s essentially daylight robbery.  

I admit I wasn’t sure what kind of powers the regulators like Ofwat had when it came to things like this, I thought they could merely plea to water suppliers not to raise their prices and then the water suppliers would simply acknowledge the request, ignore them and raise their prices anyway.  

But now realising that they have the power to do things like this I think it’s time a few other regulators used them, hint hint Ofgem hint hint. 

England 2-0 Poland (We’re going to Brazil!)

We, well the players and coaching staff, did it we’re off to Brazil next year, although I’ve criticised Roy Hodgson quite a lot I must congratulate him for taking the shackles of the side and letting them go out there and force the issue.

It worked against Montenegro and despite a few heart in mouth moments it worked against Poland, it could easily have been all over at half-time if it wasn’t for Szczesny and some sloppy finishing.

That’s why I’ve criticised Hodgson because in the last two games he’s set the team up to attack and be aggressive and look what’s happened we’ve comfortably put in the best two performances of the qualifying campaign and looked like a decent side, so why not play like that all the time.

If we had done for this entire qualifying campaign we would have gone into last night’s game already qualified.

As I’ve said before if England played like that all the time, even if they lost, you wouldn’t have too much to complain about because you could see they were going for it and trying to win and make something happen.

I must also praise Townsend for again continuing where he left off against Montenegro, and even I as an Arsenal fan admit he’s done as many positive things in these last two games as Walcott’s managed in the 36 caps he’s got.

Baines has surely now got to be our first choice left back, while I think Cole is better defensively the fact is goals win you games, and out of the two Baines is much more likely to create or score a goal, as he proved last night.

Gerrard and Rooney showed that in Brazil they’ll be our two most important players, they were both excellent last night and both scored their goals at crucial times.

Of course for all the positives there were still a few issues, too many players pushed up for corners and left us exposed on the counter attack, and obviously playing a 4-4-2 against the top nations isn’t going to work most of the time, but Roy’s got eight months to work on a few alternate formations so hopefully he’ll come up with something a bit different.

Anyway bring on the World Cup draw.

GM rice opponents wicked, says minister

Opponents of the development of a type of genetically modified (GM) rice enriched with vitamin A are "wicked", the environment secretary has said.

In an interview with the independent, Owen Paterson said they could be condemning millions of people in the developing world to a premature death.

Campaigners say the benefits claimed for the rice are misleading.

Given that the population of the world will continue to increase then like it or not GM crops will continue, in fact will need, to be grown in larger and larger quantities.

I agree with Owen Paterson, and am struggling to understand exactly what those who oppose them are against, we object to growing more of this food to feed the hungry? I don’t get it.

In fact as the crops are modified and contain more vitamins means they use less space to produce the same amount of vitamins as standard crops.

I think that those who oppose GM crops should have a bit more faith in science it has worked wonders for the human race and will continue to do so, where as bitching, moaning and fixating on tiny things rather than looking at the bigger picture holds everything back.   

Lollipop man resigns over high-five council row

A lollipop man has resigned after being threatened with suspension for high-fining children who were crossing a road.

Bob Slade, 65, helped children to cross a road leading to Manadon Vale Primary School, in Plymouth.

Have you ever read anything so pathetic? I mean seriously have you.

All Mr Slade was doing was enjoying his job and taking some pride in it rather than just standing there with a face like thunder and glumly waving the kids across like most lollipop men/women do, and for this he’s threatened with suspension, what are they smoking at Plymouth town hall because I want to steer well clear of it.

Apparently the reason they threatened to suspend Mr Slade was because they thought if he was holding the lollipop with one hand and high-fiving kids with the other, then somehow that meant he wasn’t watching the road and compromising the safety of the children, which is a steaming pile of bullshit.

If that was the case and he really was ‘endangering’ their lives then how come in the four years Mr Slade was doing the job there wasn’t a single accident. 

If the claims made by the council had any legitimacy, which they obviously don’t, then there would have been complaints from the parents, which there have been but only due to the fact Mr Slade resigned not because of the job he was doing.

One parent described the situation as ridiculous and said what Mr Slade was doing wasn’t dangerous and that he was doing a great job.

Ironically now he’s resigned there is no-one patrolling the road, so well done Plymouth City Council you’ve made it much safer for the kids who cross that road. Idiots. 

Main parties agree press regulation deal

A Royal Charter aimed at underpinning self-regulation of the press has been published by the government.

Culture Secretary Maria Miller said the deal would safeguard the freedom of the press and the future of local papers.

But the industry said the proposals could neither be described as "voluntary or independent".

It’s no surprises that the press has rejected this latest attempt at reaching an agreement on regulation and seemingly won’t accept anything other than being allowed to go back to doing what they were before the Leveson inquiry.

It amazes me how the press still think they are the ones who should set-up their own regulatory system and that there in a really strong position to negotiate, when time after time after time they’ve shown they can’t be trusted to do it.

And what really annoys me the most is the line they all use if this is passed it will be the end of a free press in Britain which is complete and utter bollocks, it won’t, however, it will mean that those in the press won’t be able to do what they want whenever they want and expect to get away with it.

I hope this issue is resolved soon and both sides can agree on a regulatory system because it’s been almost a year now since Leveson made his recommendations and there has been zero progress, and I’m frankly sick of it all.   

Vatican misspells Jesus ‘Lesus’

Embarrassed staff at the Vatican are recalling more than 6,000 papal medals after the name Jesus was misspelled “Lesus”.

The gold, silver and bronze medallions commemorate Francis' first year as head of the Roman Catholic Church.

They went on sale on Tuesday in St. Peter's Square, replete with the somewhat spectacular clerical error.

Four of the coins were sold before the mistake was noticed.

Oh my God how funny is this; staff at the Vatican have somehow managed to misspell Jesus.

You’d think that would be the last word they’d get wrong but there you go.

Having said that maybe this isn’t the huge blunder it appears to be, since Pope Francis was made Pope he has done things very, very differently so maybe this is his doing.

It starts with what appears to be an innocuous, albeit fundamental, error and ends up with Pope Francis addressing a crowd in St Peters square and saying we’ve kept up this shite for long enough now, religion is a sham and it sickens me how so many eejits have bought into this nonsense.

Then he’d remove his papal dress throw his hat into the crowd and say just try and be nice to one another and then he’d storm off in his underpants.

Granted that’s probably not going to happen, but I would certainly like to see it.     

England 4-1 Montenegro

Of all the things I expected to see watching last night’s game Hodgson naming such an attacking side and letting England go all out for the win was very low down on the list, but it was number one on the list of things I wanted to see, and thankfully I did.

I thought Hodgson was uncharacteristically daring in his selections and in the way he set England up, the win was fully deserved and provided the perfect preparation for our game with Poland on Tuesday.

As Ukraine beat Poland, and they have San Marino as their last game, we now have to win on Tuesday to qualify, and if Hodgson’s new found boldness stays then he should name a similarly attacking line-up and set the side up to go at Poland from the first whistle.

Also I must praise Andros Townsend, on his debut he’d have been forgiven for being a little conservative and safe in his play, but he took to Montenegro from the first whistle and was easily our best player and to top it all off got the crucial third goal to seal the win, fantastic stuff.

While that was arguably one of the best and most positive England performances for a long time, there was still a major concern I had, why oh why oh why were Gerrard and Lampard paired together again!

Just last month in Ukraine Hodgson played them in a three and said something along the lines of they can’t play in a two but they can in a three, so why play them in a two, when you yourself have admitted that it doesn’t work!

We got away with it last night because Montenegro had number of key players missing but I think it’s time for one of them to make way and as I forgot Lampard was on the pitch until he was substituted, I think he should be the one to make way.

Ok Gerrard didn’t have his best game but he was a lot more involved and pushed forward and had a few chances to score were as Lampard did erm, err, oh that’s right absolutely nothing.  

For the game against Poland I would make a few changes, obviously Walker is suspended so I think Jones should be the one to replace him, Lampard should sit it out with either Carrick or Wilshire coming in, and as much as I like Welbeck he’s not a wide player, and Hodgson playing him there isn’t doing him any favours.

So Milner should come in because he can play on the wing and he will do more tracking back allowing Baines to push on more, other than that the rest of the team would be the same and they should play with the same level of aggression and attacking intent, and if we do that we should be too much for Poland, given that they now can’t qualify the match is a dead rubber for them.

Watching last night as much as I was enjoying it, I couldn’t help thinking why don’t England adopt this mindset and play like this more often; if England went out there each game and really went for it I wouldn’t mind so much if they lost because you could see that they were trying to make something happen, rather than sitting back and waiting for something to happen. 

Spider in bed prompts 999 call to firefighters

Firefighters have received emergency calls about a lost set of false teeth and a spider crawling onto a pillow.

London Fire Brigade revealed some of the strangest 999 calls in a bid to cut down on the number of non-emergency calls they receive.

Other calls included an elderly woman who asked for help after she threw water at fighting dogs, forgetting her dentures were in the glass.

The brigade said it had 100 unnecessary calls a week in the last year.

Stories like this always irritate me when you get some fecking eejit who dials 999 for the most inane reason, although I must admit while the old lady should have known better I did laugh quite a bit at why she made a needless 999 call.

Maybe in that situation the police could have just sent the police dog round on his own to break up the fight and send the two mutts on their way.

There is a list of the most ridiculous ones and they all boil the blood but the one that takes the top prize for idiocy is a woman who called 999 because she thought a fox in her garden might bite her because it had “an odd look on its face”.

This woman, or to correctly identify her oxygen thief, was presumably calling from inside the house so how would the fox bite her from the garden when she’s in the house? 

She said the fox had an odd look on its face, yeah it was probably thinking is that oxygen thief calling 999 because I’m in her garden what a nutcase.

Does this woman, sorry oxygen thief, call 999 every time she watches a David Attenborough documentary, hello yes there’s a rather menacing looking shark on my TV screen please send help my life’s in danger. 

    

I don’t mean to be the harbinger of doom, but I wonder how many people who genuinely needed help had to wait longer than necessary or worse still didn’t get the emergency help they needed because the emergency services were dealing with calls from morons asking for the firefighters because they burnt their toast?  

While the emergency services should obviously publish the details of these kinds of calls to show people the kind of lunatics they have to deal with, I think they should go a step further and name and shame them then hopefully they’ll be mocked by everyone they know and then hopefully they’ll learn not to be such idiots.

In fact maybe even go a step further than that and fine anyone who calls when it’s clearly not an emergency in fact when it’s not even anything, because the fire brigade had to deal with 100 unnecessary calls a week last year, that is a shocking number and it needs to stop because they’re hindering their ability to do their job properly.    

Living Ohio man ruled ‘legally dead’

A US man declared dead after he disappeared nearly three decades ago cannot now be declared officially alive, though he has returned home and is in good health, a judge has ruled.

Donald Miller of Ohio left behind a wife, two children and significant debt when he fled his home in 1986.

He was declared legally dead in 1994, then re-emerged in 2005 and attempted to apply for a driving licence.

A judge this week found death rulings cannot be overturned after three years.

So this guy is alive and well and yet according to the law he is dead, as loopholes go that is quite a major one.

Granted I’m sure when Mr Miller ran away and abandoned his wife and two kids he may well have been as good as dead to them, but there’s a difference between that and the eyes of the law.

When I read this I couldn’t help but laugh, then I thought life’s going to be awkward for that guy, but actually he can pretty much do what he wants because now he’s legally dead he surely has immunity from prosecution, will he now take up a new profession as a bank robber?

In fact if the state of Ohio refuses to acknowledge under the law that he’s alive then surely he can the live the rest of his life without paying for any of the services provided by the state government.

There’s also an element of ambiguity here, could he move to another state and be considered alive?

Best of all if he got into a confrontation with someone and they threatened to kill him he could use the phrase “you can’t kill me I’m already dead” and mean it in an actual and not emotional sense.

England will deliver, says Roy Hodgson

Roy Hodgson believes his England side “will deliver” World Cup qualification.

They face Montenegro on Friday knowing that a win, coupled with victory over Poland on Tuesday, would guarantee their place in Brazil next year.

“We realise England expects,” Hodgson said. “They expect us to play well in these two games and to win them. I believe the players will deliver.”

I have a slightly different opinion that that of Hodgson I want us to qualify but based on previous performances I simply don’t share his confidence, in this group we’ve comfortably scored the most goals and conceded the least and yet qualifying still hangs in the balance.

The only teams in our group we’ve beaten are the whipping boys Moldova and San Marino, all our games against the other teams fighting for qualification have all been draws and all featured pretty lacklustre performances.

If you look at our results in the group they go win-draw-win-draw-win-draw-win-draw and if we repeat that sequence in the next two games then we’ll be relying on other results.

But there is a way we can take four points and from our last two games and still qualify, if we beat Montenegro tonight and Ukraine fail to beat Poland then we’ll only need a point from our last game, and judging by the way things have gone I can see us doing that and just scraping through.

As we currently sit 17^th in the FIFA rankings, we were 4^th when Hodgson took over, our group at the World Cup will feature a top eight team so either a Spain, Argentina, Germany, Italy, teams of that ilk meaning we’ll finish second, just, get knocked out in the last 16 again and come home from another tournament depressed and disappointed.

I don’t care how optimistic you are, you know as well as I do that this is the England football team we’re talking about its going to happen.