The Nottinghamshire village with eight speed limits

A motoring organisation has said a Nottinghamshire village which has eight different speed limits in just over a mile of road may be confusing drivers.

The village of Zouch, on the Nottinghamshire-Leicestershire border, has seven different limits between itself and the next village of Hathern.

A further speed limit lies in the opposite direction on the A6 towards Kegworth.

The county council said it had imposed the limits for safety reasons.

Whatever the council’s intentions may have been, clearly they have gone way too far to the point where, ironically, they’ve, in my view, actually made the road much more dangerous.

I imagine now if you drive on that road you’d need to be an octopus because your feet would be constantly switching from one pedal to the other, you’d be changing gear every five seconds, your head would be bobbing up and down like the Churchill dog checking what speed it says on the road sign and what speed you’re actually doing.

As well as the motorists spare a thought for the traffic cops who sit by the road and record what speeds people are doing, imagine being a traffic cop on this road you’re sitting there a car goes past your speed gun says that car was doing 40mph, what do you do? Are they going too slow, too fast, or where they going the right speed, how would you know.

I’m not sure how long these signs have been there but I am sure that the situation has got a little out of control and most of them should be taken down to make the road safer.        

Indecent images teacher Geoffrey Bettley cleared to work in schools

A religious education teacher sacked for possessing indecent images of children should be allowed to return to work in schools, a panel has ruled.

Geoffrey Bettley, 36, was suspended from a West Yorkshire school in December 2010 after police found nearly 200 child abuse images on his computer.

He accepted a police caution and was dismissed by the school.

A professional conduct panel has now ruled the teacher does not "represent a risk to children or young people".

While this guy may not represent a risk to children, in the eyes of the panel, I think common sense tells us that he shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near a classroom ever again, it’s not like he clicked on an image or a link to a website by accident he had nearly 200 images stored on his computer.

Part of the reason the panel allowed this guy the opportunity to work in schools again is because the images on his computer were deemed by the police to be low-level, they have a scale of one to ten and most of the images he had were a one and some were a three, I say irrelevant he still took the time to store close to 200 images of child abuse on his computer, the level of them shouldn’t matter.   

While he may well have permission to work in schools again, hopefully none of them will hire, or even consider hiring, him.

Runner’s pain was surprise baby

An aspiring half-marathon runner whose two-hour training session left her with a sore back, was stunned to discover that the pain was not due to a pulled muscle or a slipped disc, but that she was about to give birth.

Trish Staine, from Minnesota says she had no idea she was pregnant. 

Mrs Staine says she noticed what she now realises were labour pains after her run at noon on Sunday but did not go to the hospital until the following day. 

There have been several stories like this in the last few years, I’m not sure if this is a recent thing or I have only recently started to notice it, but my reaction has been, and always will be, how the f**k can you not know your pregnant.

It’s a nine-month process and there are several fairly obvious clues along the way, I still don’t understand how a woman can go the entire time and not realise until she looks down and sees a baby dangling between her legs and suddenly it all makes sense.    

The only conceivable explanation I can think of as to why this sort of thing happens is that one in every million women who are expecting don’t exhibit the usual signs, weight gain, fluctuating emotions etc. because I just don’t see how you cannot know right up until the point you go into labour.   

Motorway middle-lane hoggers to face on-the-spot fines

Motorway tailgaters and middle-lane hoggers are to face quick justice with on-the-spot fixed penalties under new measures announced by the government.

From July, police will be able to issue £100 fines and three points for careless driving offences that would currently have to go to court.

The idea is to target offenders without the need for lengthy court procedures.

Current fixed penalties for using a phone while driving or not wearing a seatbelt will also rise by £40 to £100.

These are sensible measures and will hopefully stop people driving like a**holes, but while several driver ‘pet hates’ have been addressed it seems the government has made one glaring omission.

Lorries, when you’re driving on a motorway and you find yourself stuck behind two lorries where one is trying to overtake the other, one is usually doing 60.5 and the one trying to overtake is usually doing 60.51 and it goes on for miles, why has this not been addressed, it’s just as bad as someone cruising in the middle-lane and causing congestion.

There is another little caveat, as you hardly see any police on the motorways will these measures make that much of a difference, or will those that tailgate, lane hog etc. just carry on as normal.     

Expect blue ribbons on the Premier League trophy next season

With Jose Mourinho officially back at Chelsea and Manuel Pelligrini due to be unveiled as the new Man City manager any day now, I’m predicting the Premier League trophy will be won by one of these two sides, with the other in 2^nd, in 2014.

Mourinho we all know can win titles, but just because his CV may look a little bare, don’t underestimate Pelligrini and his ability to win trophies at the Ethiad.

Pelligrini has had some experience of coaching a wealthy team chasing the title; he was coach of Real Madrid for the 2009-10 season where Madrid amassed 96 points, unfortunately for him Guardiola’s Barcelona edged the title with 99 points.

Also, and this should be a big selling point for City fans, Pelligrini has shown he can take his teams into the business end of the Champions League.

With United opting for Moyes, who as I mentioned in a previous post has no experience of coaching a team looking to win the title or any Champions League experience, ironically Moyes lost out to Pelligrini's Villarreal in a 2005 qualifier, and with a big question mark over whether this will finally be the summer Arsene Wenger decides to spend some of the rather large cash pile that’s been building up at the Emirates for some time now.

Taking all these factors into account I’m expecting a much closer and more interesting title race next season, but I am still expecting the top two places to be filled by Chelsea and City. 

England full of same old problems despite draw with Brazil

England may well have left the new Maracana with a respectable, albeit undeserved, 2-2 draw, but, as the majority of England games do, this one threw up more questions than answers.

When Roy Hodgson took over for the Euro’s last summer he said that there wasn’t enough time for him to make the necessary changes he wanted so he kept the team pretty much as it was under Capello, which was fair enough, but it’s been a year now and on the evidence of last night he hasn’t changed much and England haven’t made much progress.

Aside from the 10 minute spell where England got it to 2-1 and actually looked like a half-decent side, the rest wasn’t pretty.

The passing is still far too sloppy, the players are rushing and trying to do everything too quickly, there was no control in the build up play, it was go for the killer ball straight away, and every time that happened the ball was  given away.

There was virtually no movement and no option for the player on the ball, so he’d look up and have no choice but to pass it to the side, then eventually back to the keeper, who’d have no choice but to punt it down field and give the ball away!  

With four World Cup qualifiers coming up in the autumn there is a lot of work that needs to be done if England are to make it back to Brazil next summer, starting with getting the team to string more than five passes together. 

Goats detained after police car is ‘vandalised’

Police in the Indian city of Chennai have reportedly detained three goats, after a brand new Toyota Innova patrol car was allegedly attacked by a pack of 12.

Bystanders reported seeing the errant goats standing on top of the cop car, causing dents, scratches and damage to the windscreen and wipers.

Policeman Ganesh Babu, the owner of the new vehicle, is said to have caught the trio at the scene, they have been remanded in custody, at a nearby Society for the Protection of Animals centre.

The nine remaining suspects that have evaded capture so far are still being sought.

What a great way to start the week, a story about goats vandalising a police car.

First thing you have to ask is how unsettling is it for the residents of Chennai that the local police can’t deal with a few goats, yes three were ‘caught’ but nine got away.

Would like to know what the tactics are for trying to catch the other nine, will the police be going door to door with pictures of the goats asking have you seen this animal?

What if they find one hiding in a field of cows, will they arrest the cows as well for harbouring a fugitive. 

Liverpool: Luis Suarez not for sale

Liverpool insist unsettled Uruguay striker Luis Suarez is not for sale.

The 26-year-old’s future has been put in doubt this week after he said “now would be a good time to move”.

The Uruguayan admitted on Wednesday it “would be difficult to say no” to Spanish giants Real Madrid, who have been linked with him.

And on Thursday he added: “It’s a good moment for a change of environment because of all I’ve been through.”

This is pretty amusing stuff; at a press conference on Thursday Suarez said that he wanted to leave Liverpool because of the way he has been treated by the media, and here’s the best part, claiming his image has been damaged.

Understandably Liverpool aren’t impressed with these comments as they have come out and stated that Suarez never communicated these problems directly to them.

I’m guessing that in the two and a half years Suarez has been in the Premier League he really hasn’t learnt much about the media, if you come and out and criticise them that’s not really going to solve the problems you have with them.

And anyway what are the press supposed to do when a player moves here and racially abuses another player, dives, handballs and, to top it all off, bites an opponent, I think Suarez is being rather optimistic if he thinks that the press will ignore incidents like those.  

Suarez is a fantastic player some of his goals and performances this season were outstanding, and as with all talented players like Suarez clubs tend to tolerate their bad behaviour much more, because of what they do out on the pitch, but there always comes a point where patience runs out and a line gets crossed, and this could very well be that moment.

As good as Suarez is, it’s probably better for the image of the Premier League if he wasn’t at Anfield next season.

FIFA racism measures could see teams expelled or relegated

Teams could be relegated or expelled from competitions for serious incidents of racism after tough new powers were voted in by FIFA.

First or minor offences will result in either a warning, fine or order for games to be played behind closed doors.

Re-offenders or serious incidents could lead to a point’s deduction, expulsion from competition or relegation.

FIFA president Sepp Blatter believes the measures 'send a strong signal to the racists that their time is up'.

FIFA have in the past, in the wake of a racist incident in football, publicly condemned the actions and promised change, but it seems now they have actually walked the walk and delivered.

What’s even more encouraging is that these measured passed the FIFA congress with a 99% majority, so hopefully now there will be clear and consistent punishments for those who are guilty of racism.

While there is still a lot more work to be done, for example finding out who voted against these measures and expelling them from FIFA, this vote does denote a big step forward.  

Tennis player uses iPhone to prove shot was in at French Open

Ukrainian tennis player Sergiy Stakhovsky used his iPhone to try and prove the umpire got a call wrong at the French Open.

Moaning at sports officials these days has been taken to a whole new level as Sergiy Stakhovsky showed in his match with Richard Gasquet at the French Open.

Stakhovsky’s celebrations were cut short during the first round clash when his shot down the line was called ‘out’ prompting bizarre scenes at Roland Garros.

The world number 101 was so enraged by the decision that he decided to put down his racket and whip out his iPhone to take a photo of the mark left by the ball on the line!

Sadly Stakhovsky’s ingenious solution to the lack of Hawk-Eye at Roland Garros didn’t pay dividends as he lost in straight sets, but what he did does highlight the issue that given Hawk-Eye technology is used almost universally in tennis, why have those in charge of the French Open decided not to have it installed.

You can argue that it’s not part of the games traditions, or some other stupid irrelevant point, but the fact is if all the original traditions were kept players would still be using wooden racquets and wearing long johns on court, so I urge the people in charge of Roland Garros update the tournament so it is the same as the others.

This story has just given me an idea for a Hawk-Eye app, I can sell it to all the players in both the men’s and women’s draws, that’s 256 sales right there, let’s see 256 multiplied by 99p= £253.44. Hmm not bad, add that to those who play the qualifiers and I could be breaking the £500 barrier.