FSA delayed horsemeat testing before crisis

The Food Standards Agency (FSA) explored the idea of testing all horses slaughtered in the UK months before the horsemeat food crisis began in January.

But the agency was concerned that the costs of extra testing would cause every horse abattoir to close down.

Without the faster tests, it is likely that meat tainted with phenylbutazone continued to enter the food chain.

The agency says the testing was delayed to allow a comprehensive review of all the impacts.

The word incompetence springs to mind, the FSA could have carried out the tests and stopped the horsemeat scandal but they thought it ultimately wasn’t worth doing, and as a result we all ended up with chemical nags in our lasagnes.

Regardless of what the FSA thought might happen, if it had concerns or suspicions or this was simply a new directive, then surely it had to go through with the tests, I think a few people at the FSA should be clearing out their desks and seeking pastures new. 

Star Wars: Episode VII to be filmed in UK

The latest Star Wars film is to be made in the UK, producer Lucasfilm has said.

The seventh movie in the sci-fi series is due to start production next year and is scheduled for release in 2015.

Filming on previous Star Wars also took place in Britain at studios including Elstree, Shepperton and Leavesden.

Oh goody another bloody Star Wars movie and who cares if it’s filmed here, or being made at all, I certainly don’t.

This is one of the things about movies that really grinds my gears, the studio executives and production teams don’t know when to stop, if they make a successful movie they just keep churning out sequel after sequel or prequel after prequel.

They swarm around a movie or series of movies, or ‘franchise’ if you prefer, like a plague of mosquitoes until every commercial avenue has been sucked dry and then they latch onto the next big thing and do it all over again.

So don’t be surprised if a long time from now in cinema quite close to you there is a premiere for Star Wars Episode C.

David Moyes appointed Manchester United manager

David Moyes will succeed Sir Alex Ferguson as Manchester United manager on a six-year deal starting on 1 July.

Moyes, who leaves Everton after 11 years in charge at Goodison Park, was Ferguson's recommendation to succeed him as manager at Old Trafford.

The 50-year-old was out of contract at Everton at the end of the season.

“We unanimously agreed on David Moyes,” said Ferguson, who announced his retirement on Wednesday after 26 years as United boss.

While it became obvious that Moyes was the going to be the man that took over, I’m still surprised United didn’t go for someone a little more high profile and more experienced at the very highest level.  

Moyes has done a great job at Everton and is a good manager, but the standards laid down by Sir Alex Ferguson meant that surely his replacement would have to have two things: 1) Experience of winning, or at least challenging for, league titles. 2) Champions League experience.

Other than an ill-fated qualifier against Villarreal in 2005 Moyes has very little to offer in these two departments, and also his style of football hardly fits United.

I bet Man City and Chelsea, if Mourinho does indeed go back, will be a lot more confident of their chances next season, and even if Klopp doesn’t win the Champions League with Dortmund you’d have to say United have missed a trick there. 

Thames airport ‘should be rejected’ – say MPs

The government should reject the "Boris Island" Thames Estuary airport plan and expand Heathrow instead, a report by MPs has said.

Mayor of London Boris Johnson has argued for a new hub airport in the Thames Estuary.

Yet the House of Commons Transport Committee warned it would be hugely expensive.

The MPs argue a third runway at Heathrow is necessary instead.

The more this debate rumbles on the more I ask myself why the construction crews aren’t at Heathrow right now marking out the area where the third runway should go.

What’s more cost and time effective and what would be more beneficial adding a third runway to an established airport, or building an entirely new one from scratch and all the other infrastructure links to go with it.

Instead of sitting around debating, start building the benefits of adding another runway at Heathrow will be exponential.      

Cheese and Onion chocolate bars proving popular

In response to a social media campaign Irish brand Tayto created 100,000 bars of cheese and onion chocolate bars, which have proved immensely popular having already sold out in Ireland and been distributed to Australia.

Tatyo CEO, Eamon Eastwood, told Australian paper the Herald Sun “I couldn't believe the reaction,” he also described the taste as “unusual,” characterizing it as “crunchy chocolate and then a lingering taste of cheese of onion.”

Is there some kind of rare genetic mutation which only affects the Irish that results in their taste buds eroding away during their lifetime? Consequently meaning that any foodstuff they put in their mouth tastes ok.

Seriously cheese and onion chocolate, what will this firm bring out next beetroot custard? Brussel sprout ice-cream? Tuna cheesecake?

I bet Tayto have a factory similar to the one Willy Wonka had only instead of being run by a fictional quirky genius, instead is being run by a real life mad man. 

Sir Alex Ferguson to retire from Manchester United

Sir Alex Ferguson will step down as Manchester United manager at the end of the season after 26 years in charge.

The Scot, 71, has won 38 trophies for the club and will now become a director and ambassador.

His haul includes 13 league titles, two Champions League crowns, five FA Cups and four League Cups.

“The decision to retire is one that I have thought a great deal about. It is the right time,” Ferguson said.

Well this is certainly a bit of a surprise considering that Ferguson hinted earlier this season he would continue to work with his current squad for the foreseeable future, everybody took that as confirmation he would carry on as manager for another few years but now we know what he really meant.

Obviously Ferguson has done incredible things during his time at Old Trafford, but the interesting thing now is who will replace him?

The bookies have put Jose Mourinho as favourite followed by David Moyes and Jurgen Klopp.

I’m predicting that it will be Klopp, you can make a case for all three but I think it won’t go to Moyes because as good as he has been at Everton he’s not won anything, and I think it will be too big a step up for him to take.      

Mourinho no doubt has what it takes but his style doesn’t really suit United he comes in wins everything in the first two or three years then leaves, also Bobby Charlton and a few others behind the scenes at United have suggested in the past that they aren’t that keen on him as a long-term option.

That’s why for me it could be Klopp, Dortmund appear to be selling all their best players to Bayern so the incentive for him to stay for another year is greatly reduced, particularly if he wins the Champions League, his team plays the right style of football, and he has the personality.

If United due opt for Klopp and Mourinho goes back to Chelsea then the title race should be much closer and much more interesting next season.     

Korean woman injects cooking oil into her own face

A Korean woman addicted to plastic surgery has been left unrecognisable after her obsession led her to inject cooking oil into her face.

Hang Mioku, now 48, had her first plastic surgery procedure when she was 28; hooked from the beginning she moved to Japan where she had further operations - mostly to her face.

When she returned home to Korea the surgery meant Hang's features had changed so much that her own parents didn't recognise her.

The strangest thing about this story is that if you look at a picture of her face, before she had any surgery, she was beautiful and didn’t need any work done, but now her face looks like one you might find on a slowly melting waxwork of Colonel Gaddafi.

Surely when you visit your parents and they don’t recognise you, that’s a sign that maybe you’ve gone a wee bit too far.

All I can think is serves you right for being such a vain and crazy basket-case, plastic surgery should be used for injuries or disfigurements nothing else.

The scary thing is I bet that there will be thousands who read the story see the pictures and won’t be put off and they’ll just think it won’t happen to me, well I for one hope it does because, like this woman, that’s the only way you’ll learn. 

Working gun made with 3D printer

The world's first gun made with 3D printer technology has been successfully fired in the US.

The controversial group which created the firearm, Defense Distributed, plans to make the blueprints available online.

The group has spent a year trying to create the firearm, which was successfully tested on Saturday at a firing range south of Austin, Texas.

Given the debate across America about what gun control laws to introduce and how extensive they should be, and whether an agreement on background checks can be reached, I think it’s pretty pathetic that this firm:

A) Have dedicated their time and effort to bring out a product which could potentially destabilise that whole process and bring everything back to square one.

B) Can’t spell its defence not defense.

Creating a gun that people can download of the internet and print-off at home, what could go wrong?

Defense Distributed is headed by Cody Wilson, a 25-year-old law student at the University of Texas who, when being interviewed by the BBC, made this rather worrying statement: “I'm seeing a world where technology says you can pretty much be able to have whatever you want. It's not up to the political players anymore.”

Need I say more. 

Why do people still buy personalised number plates?

Last year the UK’s Driver and Vehicle Licensing Agency raised £67m from the sale of personalised number plates. But why do people still buy them?

I’ll tell you why because those people have more money than sense; to me anyone who even thinks about buying one for a nanosecond is a D1CK H3AD, W4NK3R, PR1CK, A55H0L3, whichever you prefer, and also PR3T3NT10US and EG0T15T1CAL.     

I thought I’d better write it in language they’d understand.    

WI ‘pirates’ welcome Somali hostage victim

A former ship's captain held hostage by Somali pirates got a red-faced welcome from fancy dress pirates at a Devon Women's Institute (WI).

The Parkham WI thought Colin Darch was going to be speaking to them about piracy, not realising he was held hostage for 47 days in 2008.

“They were more embarrassed than me,” said Mr Darch, 75.

WI treasurer Steph George, 54, said: “He was such a good sport, but we won't be dressing up again for a while.”

What a faux-pas, but I would like to know why the WI booked this guy to, as they thought, speak about piracy.

Is that a burning issue that desperately needed to be addressed at the WI?

Apparently it’s not uncommon for the women to dress up in the theme of the guest speaker, but surely someone would have double-checked who this guy was.

But luckily for Mr Darch he did end up selling some copies of the book he wrote about his ordeal.

I can imagine how that went as soon as the women realised their error, oh you were held hostage by pirates and are not actually speaking about piracy, what’s that you wrote a book about what happened to you, we’ll take the lot please forgive us.