FIFA task force created to set 2022 World Cup date

FIFA has agreed to set up a taskforce to look into alternative dates for the 2022 World Cup in Qatar.

But a final decision on when the tournament could be played will not take place before the 2014 World Cup.

Fears that Qatar’s hot summer temperatures could pose a health risk to players and fans forced football's world governing body to act.

Right now Blatter has bullishly stated that there will be no re-run of the voting process and that the World Cup will be played in Qatar no matter what, and he’s admitted that playing the World Cup in Qatar in June and July, where temperatures regularly exceed 40C, would be a mistake.

His solution is to set-up a task force, or as it should really be known the ‘we’ve fu**ed up what can we do to save our sorry arses’ force, to try to fix the problem, never mind that the problem shouldn’t have existed in the first place.

The job of this clusterf**k committee is to somehow work out how to stage the World Cup in January/February 2022 without disrupting all the domestic league and cup competitions, and all the European games that usually take place around this time, as well as avoiding clashing with other major sporting events like the Winter Olympics and the Super Bowl.

All I can say is good luck with that one, because they may well have about 10 months to work it out but whatever they decide I can’t see their solution not pissing somebody off.

The only hope left of salvaging the 2022 World Cup is that Blatter’s successor, acknowledges the massive cock-up and does the sensible thing and strips Qatar of hosting duties and awards it to a nation that can host it in the summer as it should be and without all these unnecessary problems.      

You’d think Blatter and the executives at FIFA couldn’t do anymore to make people think less of them and yet time and time again they out do themselves in incompetence, it’s actually quite an achievement when you think about it.     

Grandfather takes wrong child out of school after mix up

A school handed over the wrong child to a grandfather who came to collect her for a doctor's appointment.

An investigation has been launched at the Napier Community Primary School, in Gillingham, after the six-year-old girl was taken to the doctor and prescribed liquid paracetamol.

It is understood the grandfather did not realise he had the wrong child.

Can I just start by saying if the grandfather took the wrong girl to all the way to the doctors then I think it’s pretty obvious, and not merely understood, he didn’t realise he had the wrong girl.

Now while this is quite shocking I am a bit confused as to how the situation went as far as it did.

Apparently the girl who the grandfather mistakenly thought was his grand-daughter has the same name and was in the same class, now on first hearing that you think well then this error in judgement isn’t as bad as I thought.

But there’s nothing saying the girls look alike and also when the grandfather arrived and said I’m here to pick up Claire, for the sake of my story I’ve named the girl Claire, don’t ask why it was the first name that popped into my head.

Anyway when the grandfather said I’ve come to take Claire to the doctors, why then did the person who went into the class to get her, presumably knowing that there were two Claire’s in the class, not use a surname or some other way of differentiating between the two to make sure they got the right one?

Then, and this is the pretty galling bit, how could the grandfather not recognise that the girl wasn’t his grand-daughter, and actually why did the girl who was mistakenly taken out of class not say I don’t know who this man is, he’s not my grandfather, I don’t have a doctor’s appointment today etc.

Finally after everything that’s already happened the doctor then prescribes medication to the wrong girl, I mean I might be missing something here and these two girls for all I know maybe completely indistinguishable, but how could no-one up to this point have noticed the mistake. 

Thankfully the mother of the girl who was mistakenly taken to the doctors realised the error when her daughter showed her the medication she’d been given, I mean how this situation could go that far without anyone realising is a bit bonkers.

As a result of this incident the school has quite rightly launched an investigation to ensure that something like that never happens again, and I’ll tell you another thing that will never happen again that grandfather will never be asked to babysit again, ever. 

Roy Hodgson announces unbalanced England squad

Yesterday Roy Hodgson announced his England squad for the final two World Cup qualifiers against Montenegro and Poland, and while he did the obvious and backed Joe Hart I was more concerned with the fact that he named only two recognised wide players, Milner and Townsend, and left out Ashley Young.

Granted Young’s form has been patchy, but to name a squad with no cover in the wide areas is surprising to say the least.

When the last squad was announced there was concern about the limited number of striking options, but that was due to injuries this time Hodgson has named just two wide players and too many central midfielders when there were, with the exception of Walcott, no injuries in that area.

He could have picked Young, Lennon or Sterling to provide another option but chose not to, at this level that is an elementary mistake.

Of course all the players selected still have a game at the weekend to get through but based on the squad he’s picked this is the 11 I’d go with in the two games.

Hart

Walker-Cahill-Jagielka-Baines

Gerrard(c)-Carrick

Townsend-Rooney-Milner

Strurridge

Subs:

Forster

Cole

Jones

Barkley

Wilshere

Welbeck

Lambert

I can say with 100% certainty that Hodgson will do something completely different and will most likely start with Lampard and Gerrard even though everyone has known for the best part of 10 years now that playing those two together doesn’t work.

Why can’t England managers seem to understand that? It’s all about picking the best team not the best 11 individuals, but for some reason every England manager has persisted with great ignorance thinking they can solve the problem, well guess what they haven’t and won’t, the only way to sort it is to drop one of them and as Gerrard is captain, and I’m not a fan of Lampard I’d nominate him as the one to make way.

Anyway I’ve a gut feeling we’ll do what we always do in qualifiers and that is just barely do enough and scrape through, and god help us in Rio if what I predict comes to fruition, because if we do make to the World Cup and Hodgson shows the same ineptitude he’s demonstrated by naming an unbalanced squad then we’ll be lucky to make it to the last 16.     

Should England drop Joe Hart?

After Manchester City’s dismantling at the hands of Bayern Munich last night one of the big question marks after the game was the performance and general form of Joe Hart.

With England facing two crucial World Cup qualifiers next month and Hart on such patchy form is it worth Roy Hodgson taking a risk and leaving Hart on the bench?

The answer has to be no, yes the number of mistakes made by Hart are becoming more and more frequent and are most likely due to complacency and the fact that he has no competition, the very reason why England can’t afford to drop him.

Let’s say Hodgson did, who are the alternatives Fraser Forster at Celtic has looked pretty solid the few times I’ve seen him, but let’s face it he plays for Celtic and now Rangers are where they are is he really truly tested on a regular basis? The answer is no and the fact that he hasn't been capped yet is another reason why it would be too big a risk to start him. 

John Ruddy at Norwich would be the one most likely to come in but he’s got one cap, and remember what happened the last time an England manager started a keeper with one cap in a key qualifier, Scott Carson vs. Croatia in 2007 where we lost 3-2 and didn’t qualify for Euro 2008. While that's unlikely to happen again this round I think it would be a mistake to play an inexperienced keeper against Montenegro and Poland.  

So while nobody would be surprised if Hart was dropped it seems we simply can’t afford to, and the best thing we can hope for is the criticism he’s been getting will fire him up and make him re-focus and play more like the world class keeper we all know he can be.    

Payday loan adverts could carry risk warnings

Payday lenders could be forced to place “risk warnings” on their adverts to advise borrowers about the dangers of debt.

It is one of several new rules being proposed by the Financial Conduct Authority (FCA) to protect consumers.

Under the plans, the FCA would also be able to ban any loans, or adverts, that it did not approve of.

While I approve of the idea to make adverts for payday lenders carry warnings, surely the best thing the FCA could do is recommend that they cease to exist.

Essentially what they do is legal loan sharking and the people who turn to them out of desperation always seem to end up much worse off long term.

It annoys me that payday lenders exploit people who have got themselves in a bad financial situation and then the bosses of them give interviews to newspapers and news shows bemoaning their bad reputations, how deluded are these people?

The FCA is proposing these ideas to try and protect consumers, but if they really wanted to do that they would inform all payday lenders to close their doors immediately. 

Scientists believe they’ve proved the existence of Bigfoot

Bigfoot has long been considered a combination of folklore, misidentification, and hoax, but on Tuesday a team of researchers screened what they claim is conclusive evidence that the creature, also known as Sasquatch, exists.

During a news conference in Texas, the group of experts played several short clips that they described as ‘never before seen HD video’ of the supposed ape-like creature.

The footage consisted of very short, grainy and out-of-focus clips of various apparently human-like, hairy figures moving about in wooded areas in Kentucky.

I think the term scientist has never been used more loosely, this group of people spent $500,000 over five years on this project and what do they have to show for their efforts the usual grainy out of focus crap we always see when some yokel thinks he’s filmed a bigfoot.

This story should read more like a group of feckin eejit’s have wasted $500,000 and five years of their lives to show us that they’ve wasted $500,000 and five years of their lives.

What really grinds my gears is that there has never ever been anything close to resembling any real conclusive evidence that a bigfoot, sasquatch, whatever the f**k you want to call it, exists, and yet millions of people all over the world seem to cling onto to the idea that it does.

Hypothetically let’s say it does exist what then, actually seeing as though most of the supposed ‘sightings’ of it occur in the US a bunch of people would most likely head of into the woods with guns and want to shoot it, or deep fry it and cover it with spray on cheese.

The people who believe in stuff like this really need to come back to reality. 

Key Simpsons character to be killed off

The Simpsons will never be the same after season 25; this run will be marked by the death of a key character.

Talking to The Sun, executive producer Al Jean spilled the beans about the forthcoming plot twist: “I'll give you a clue - the actor playing the character won an Emmy for playing that character, but I won't say who it is.”

As big a Simpsons fan as I am this plot twist smacks of one thing, desperation. The last time they killed a character off, Maude Flanders in Season 11, it led to a jump in the ratings so they’re just repeating the trick here, and it also acts as a cover for the obvious decline in quality.

I know that argument has been made time and time again but it’s true and I didn’t fully appreciate just how much until recently when I watched several Simpsons episodes from the golden period, seasons 3-8, and then watched a few of the newish episodes, the difference in quality was huge.

When in its prime I could count on one hand, usually just a couple of fingers, the number of bad episodes in a season comprised of 24, now it’s the other way round out of 24 new episodes I can count on one hand the number of good ones, and that’s a stretch.

The Simpsons has been a cultural phenomenon and despite being a cartoon has provided some of the greatest sitcom episodes you could ever wish to see, but it’s dragged on too long and needs to stop because Groening and co. are tainting their legacies.         

Seve Trophy should become a tour event

Paul Lawrie criticised the Seve Trophy stay-aways, saying he was prepared to walk to Paris to represent Great Britain and Ireland against Continental Europe this week.

The 1999 Open-winning Scot's most serious charge was that those choosing to rest rather than play were failing to honour the late Seve Ballesteros, after whom the match is named.

Lawrie reasoned that no-one had done more than the Spaniard to create the lucrative lives now being lived by Europe's elite golfers.

While I 100% agree with the point Lawrie makes about how Seve did more than anybody to create the lucrative way of life for European golfers, I have to disagree with his view about the Seve Trophy.

This year’s Trophy is the eighth edition and frankly very few people give a damn about it, myself incl as highlighted by the fact that so many players have decided not to participate, only three of the Ryder Cup winners from Medinah are playing.

But there’s also a much more obvious problem, as the Europeans play alongside the golfers from GB & I in the Ryder Cup there isn’t a natural rivalry or a sense of any real competition, if the European Tour want to honour the memory of Seve properly surely the best thing to do would be to scrap this bi-annual waste of a week and replace it with a lucrative tour event and keep the name.

An event similar in stature to the ones that Jack Nicklaus and Arnold Palmer have on the PGA Tour, that to me seems like the thing to do. 

Tomato and potato plant unveiled in the UK

A plant that produces both tomatoes and potatoes, called the TomTato, has been developed for the UK market.

Ipswich-based horticultural firm Thompson and Morgan said the plants were not genetically modified.

Similar plants have been created in the UK, but the firm said it was thought to be the first time they had been produced on a commercial scale.

Right the obvious question why has this company felt the need to develop a TomTato? I’m not exactly keen on the name but as both end in ‘ato’ so I guess there’s not really much option.

I really don’t see the need for these two to be combined into one mutant plant, there have been attempts to do this in the past but the taste had been a problem, and if there is even a suggestion here that this latest effort is lacking in taste it will be an instant non-starter.

This reminds me of that Simpsons episode, E-I-E-I (Annoyed Grunt), where Homer grows Tomacco, tomato seeds mixed with tobacco seeds and a little plutonium thrown in for good measure, that makes for a hilarious half-hour of animated comedy but I think we should stick to growing both potatoes and tomatoes in the conventional way.

If you want a more relevant real-world example of what this is equivalent to it is like a Liger, cross between a male lion and a female tiger, makes for an interesting one-off, but that’s all it should ever be a one-off.  

US government begins shutdown amid budget row

The US government has begun a partial shutdown after the two houses of Congress failed to agree a budget.

More than 800,000 federal employees face unpaid leave with no guarantee of back pay once the deadlock is over.

It is the first partial shutdown in 17 years.

This is refusal to co-operate on a grand scale is quite hard to fathom, and as an outsider looking in appears petty and childish.

You’d think with what was at stake both the Republicans and Democrats would have tried more to reach an agreement, although this has come close to happening before, but that time they just bumped the deadline back, which they couldn’t even be bothered to do here.

This is almost as comical as the sequester when there was a bill that both sides agreed on that contained spending cuts so severe it would force them into co-operating and guess what happened that time . . . . .

The US government seems to have spent the last few years in self-destruct mode, and it makes you think what would it take to make them co-operate?   

Whatever it maybe they need to figure it out soon because they’re just making themselves look more and more reckless.